Procrastination has taken on a new meaning in medical school. I used to think that procrastination was substituting a desired activity for a mundane or necessary task. Reading a magazine instead of doing the dishes. Getting a pedicure (and reading a magazine) instead of grocery shopping. But that's not an option any more. Now I procrastinate by doing those mundane and necessary tasks that keep life running. Like setting up bill pay for my new internet provider. Sending my brother a birthday present. Researching local running groups. That's what I did today in lieu of: listening for five minutes during Biochem; spending my ten minute break between classes previewing the lecture; researching good examples of Motivational Interviewing online.
And so what am I doing right now? Procrastinating, I suppose. Trying to make a little sense of this whirlwind by "talking it out." I am used to being busy. In my old life (which seems so far away, despite the fact that I was a regular working stiff until just two months ago), I woke up at 0700 to lift weights, studied, cooked, went to class, went to work. Usually all in the same day. And tumbled into bed at midnight and did it all over again in the morning. But, I used my brain in different ways, I had responsibilities, I fit into the societal fabric more intricately. This busy-ness is a different beast. My first week of studying from morning coffee to goodnight meditation was exhausting in an entirely new way. It all seems a bit more manageable on Day 13 and I imagine this trend will continue. I'll keep you posted.